You don't need three dogs boy...

Dear son,

I’m sure you have memories of dogs in your life, but if you wonder where the first memories of the three black dogs come from, they are Kesey, Franklin and Millie. Kesey is eight now, Franklin is five and Millie is three. I can’t tell you enough about these three dogs, except to say they all have unique personalities, love us (as we do them) unconditionally, and I can’t imagine a world without them.

Kesey is the oldest. He’s named after Ken Kesey, the author of One Flew Over the Cuckoos’ Nest. I picked that name because he was pretty crazy as a pup. I always wanted a dog who swims and fetches, and with Kesey, I got that. Once, when I was camping with some friends, Kesey swam in a river and fetched a ball four six hours straight. One of the first times he stayed at your grandma Weyricks (she wasn’t too sure about having a big dirty dog in her house to begin with) he threw-up all over her foot. He also used to drag big sticks into the house through the dog door.

I guess he doesn’t really have the best manners, but he’s a great friend and loyal to us beyond belief. He has the spirit of a champion, even though his front teeth are crooked. Rain, snow, heat, water—none of that matters to him. He loves to lay in the muck, swim in a lake, or wade in the ocean. Your mom and I took him on our honeymoon with us and one time when I was in the water a wave blocked me from Kesey’s view. He charged into the water to save me and I had to come close to shore so he didn’t freak out. That entire trip he tried to bury his toy in the sand and I strategically placed his ball so he would throw dirt on your mom. Kesey and I thought that was funny, but your mom wasn’t as amused for some reason.

Kesey has been a constant companion in our life. He used to come running out of the woods with three or four foot sticks in his mouth when we took him hiking as a pup. He would come running down the trial with the stick in his jaws and run it into the back of our legs. I think he thought that was pretty funny, because he definitely has a sense of humor. Other things he likes to do are rubbing against dry pants when he’s wet and it’s cold out, and shaking off right by you when you are clean and dry.

One time we went hiking for a couple of days on the Appalachian trial, and he walked and ran all day long. After we stopped, set up camp and Kesey ate, he started nosing the zipper of the tent when he was ready to go to sleep. I had to bring an extra sleeping pad for him, otherwise he would lay on mine and not move. Wet and dirty, we kept each other warm and comfortable for those couple of nights.

Franklin started off as a foster dog we were only keeping for a couple of days, but it only took five minutes for us to fall in love with him. He apparently was wondering the streets and was picked up by the Humane Society and dropped off at the county shelter. I can’t imagine how or why anyone would want to give-up on this guy. For the first couple of days Franklin was very sick. He seems to have an irritable bowl to begin with, so I guess living on the street drinking water from a ditch and eating who knows what must have really made him sick. At one point we were pretty sure he was going to die. After three or four emergency trips to the vet, and a couple of days of normal food and water, he was fine.

He has one fascination and it’s fetching. He’ll fetch just about anything including balls, toys and stuffed animals, although, for some reason, unlike Kesey, he doesn’t like to fetch sticks. Did I mention these dogs like to swim and fetch at the same time? Kesey, of course, was the fastest swimmer at the park for a long time (eventually he slowed down). Franklin, however, has the desire to never stop. I think he likes it best when he can take a flying leap off of something into the water, making the biggest splash possible. I always say “oh ye of little brain” when I talk to Franklin because of his fixation on fetching. I think you mom would say he likes to cuddle and give kisses just as much as he likes to fetch.

Millie is one of those dogs we truly saved from death. To put it one way, she has a personality disorder that requires constant attention. She really wants to be good and she is defiantly smart. When she performs her tricks she is so proud of herself that she can’t contain her own smiles. When we tell the other two to sit, it’s always Millie who is right there, sitting and waiting to be acknowledged. The other two never required as much training—especially Kesey—so they really just do whatever they want. Millie, however, needs to be told what to do and when to do it. That’s okay. We love her now too. She’s still a bit indifferent to all of us sometimes, but she mostly sleeps in the same room with us now. She likes to patrol the yard when we’re all outside, and I guess that’s okay, it gives her a job and she likes to work.

I get sad when I think about the future and these three dogs growing old and eventually dying. They are all in great shape right now, but Kesey is getting grey in his face and belly. I know there will be others and I really do love Franklin and Millie, but there is something special about Kesey. Maybe it’s because he helped me through a really rough time in my life that I’m so attached to him. Or maybe it’s because he’s helped me actually live so much of my life that I love him so much. It’s probably a combination of both of those things and the fact that my life has been so good since I met both him and your mom. Kesey truly is a champ.

Franklin is a ray of light every day and we can count on him to make us smile. His half-sideways, perplexed look when waiting for someone, anyone, to throw the ball makes me laugh. He never complains, or gets too pushy. He follows Kesey’s lead, and he doesn’t get mad when Millie pushes him around. He loves to be loved and the kisses never stop from him.

Millie reminds me of the need to be patient, and to provide unconditional love. It’s taken awhile for her to give this love back. I think for a long time she thought we were going to get rid of her, or hurt her, but she’s finally letting all of that go and she’s becoming the dog she is capable of being. Don’t get me wrong, there are still times when she pushes the boundaries (I think she hopes to eventually be the alpha dog—yeah, like the pack needs a crazy leader), but she is special and we all love her.

I’m not sure any of this captures the spirit or nature of the way we all live here, waiting for you to come, excited for your first wet dog nose and sloppy dog kiss. We get nervous when we think about you chasing Franklin and Millie around in your little walker. But I’m optimistic and think it will all be fine. Especially if you learn to throw the ball for Franklin at an early age.

We all love you,
Dad

"And they say to me,say "You don't need three dogs boy"
But I say that we all need a friend
And they're askin me "Don't they give you hard times?"
And I say yeah, but they'll be there in the end."

Expectations

Dear son,
Last night we went to the first of several classes we are taking to help us bring you into the world in October. It was a birthing class where we learned about all the stages of labor, delivery and finally expulsion of the placenta. In case you don’t know, the placenta is an extra organ your mom grew in her uterus to support your little life as you developed from a fetus to a little guy inside of her.

The class was packed with other moms and dads in various stages of pregnancy. It’s funny, but until last night the whole experience—from finding out your mom was pregnant, to finding out your gender—has felt so personal. But last night, after seeing all of those other pregnant people in the same room, it suddenly hit me how many people go through this experience.

The main thing it makes me think about is individuality. How, among so many people in the world, is anyone able to have their own personality? It doesn’t help that everything in our world is mediated, marketed and owned by someone. Yet, even among all of the people going through the same experience, it’s obvious that all parents have high hopes and expectations for their children.

When we found out you were coming, we were both very excited. But then your mom had some complications and we thought that maybe you were dead. We called the doctor and he said your mom's symptoms didn’t sound so good. We were sad, but it was very early. After a long weekend (and a terrible dinner I tried to cook for your mom), we finally made it to the doctor’s office on Monday morning, and he sent us to a clinic for an ultrasound to make sure everything was okay with you mom. I was waiting in the hall when the nurse called me in and, to our amazement, there you were—healthy and developing naturally. Apparently lots of women have symptoms early in their pregnancy that make then think their baby isn’t going to make it.

Now everything seems fine. We’ve had a second ultrasound, multiple check-ups and we’ve started to put your room together. Lots of dog stuff in there, so we hope you like dogs. I’m not sure what your personality is going to be like. I have no idea what your interests are going to be. But your mom and I do have expectations for you. We talk about what kind of kid we hope you are, and the types of activities we hope you participate in. Regardless of our expectations, and no matter what path you choose in life, I want you to know you are loved, and we’re both so very happy you are on the way.

Love,
Dad

Good luck, you'll need it...

Dear son-
Something I’ve been thinking quite a bit about lately are family values. I hope by the time you read this you will say you were raised with family values (even though your parents are liberals).

My list of family values includes an emphasis on reading, expressing yourself creatively, education, travel, community and family. I know your grandma and grandpa Weyrick will like it if you spend time with them.

Volunteering is also extremely important. You don’t always have to go walk dogs with your mom (although I have to tell you her biggest fear is that you won’t want to hang out with her). If you don’t walk dogs, you should spend part of your week helping others when you can (and you should always ask your mom to come along, I’m sure she will love you for including her in your life).

Respecting individuals for who they are, and not what they appear to be is also important. So many of the problems in the world are caused by intolerance and hate, it’s best just to avoid judging others when you can. I know this isn’t always easy, but I think that if you try, you will find more time to improve your own life opposed to worrying about what it is everyone else in the world is doing (especially when it doesn’t impact you personally).

Government and large corporations are not indiviuals. When it comes to government and large corporations, speak out and always question authority. These people are only looking out for themselves. You should always point this out to others and ask why your world is the way it is. For example, why do the wealthiest one percent who control 99% of the world’s wealth keep the other 99% of us at each other’s throats fighting over the scraps? And you might find this interesting: This year there were more billionaires created than ever before, while more people entered poverty than ever before. Also, why is it every time we’re on the verge of real social change we start an unnecessary war, or use religion and fake issues to divide the people?

Okay, I’ll stop there. Your mom will say I’m ranting. I’m not really a raving lunatic, I just worry about you and I want you to be raised with real family values. Not values you learn from marketers on television, but real values that will help you make your world a better place for you and those around you.

Good luck, you’ll need it.

It's not a surprise to me.

Dear son-

I have to be honest to you. We know the environment is degrading. Right now, three months before you are born, we know there are serious problems with the planet. Scientific consensus is that we have about 10 years to make a change, after that we’ll reach a tipping point after which greenhouse gases will melt the polar ice caps. Draught, famine, flooding, and devastating natural disasters are predicted.

Of course the environment has been divided into political sides with republicans saying there is nothing wrong with the planet, and democrats saying there is. In case you are wondering, I fall on the side that thinks there are serious problems.

To me there seems to be overwhelming scientific evidence for global warming. Putting that issue aside, we already have days where the air quality is so poor it is recommended people stay indoors. Several days this summer Lake Erie was so polluted people were not allowed to swim there. You make up your own mind.

I don’t mean to sound so negative. There are people who are working towards making a difference. You mom and I are vegetarians (for animal and environmental reasons), we pay attention to gas mileage, we’re looking into alternative sources of electric, and we recycle. We vote with our dollar every chance we get. Your diapers are recycled, your wipes are biodegradable, and your baby food is organic.

Your mom and I hope that when the time comes, you will make good choices about your impact on the world. In ten years you might not have much of a choice, but if you do, don’t be afraid to be different and take a stand against consumerism. Every day it is easier and cheaper to care about our impact on the world. If we have any impact, by the time you read this, you will care too.

I love you.